epoxyshogun: Moist. (Default)
epoxyshogun ([personal profile] epoxyshogun) wrote2016-10-22 05:25 am
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Everyone writes about depression

I am no different.

Man it's been at least 4 years of a progressive downward spiral. That's how long it's been since I worked on an original piece of art or written any sort of fiction. Isn't that shitty? I can't even get a short story out of my head anymore. I get paralyzed. I sort of just sit around watching cartoons or youtube while I think about all the things I could be doing and then I freeze up. It isn't fear of failure. There really isn't anything at all to be afraid of. I have pretty much everything I need when I need it. I just can't fucking make myself do it.

My husband tells me shit like "I'm proud of you. You've come so far." I don't see that shit. I don't see it, and when he says it, it sends me off the rails and makes me loath myself even more. What the fuck is that about?

I'm done for now.